Sometimes seemingly meaningless moments in your life connect in a way that you would’ve never anticipated before they happened, to create together a moment that is much more meaningless than it should be. An example: when I was much younger, I was reading a Mickey magazine, and there was a story where Donald Duck and his nephews were in the North (or South, can’t really remember) pole. There was a huge snow storm, and an Eskimo man invited them to his igloo. On their way to the igloo, the man told them that Eskimos have a huge number of words for snow in their language (can’t remember the exact number; I read that magazine over ten years ago), and one of those names had something to do with the devil. I think it was “devil’s dandruff” or something along those lines. Anyways, so a long time ago, I read that story. Then, sometime during last year, I’m listening to Hammock. I’m listening to their albums in chronological order, and so I eventually reach the following track on their fourth album: Dust is the Devil’s Snow. And then, out of nowhere, a flood of memories of that comic I read over a decade ago came rushing to my head, and it was a very strange and beautiful moment. That’s it, though… I just remember a comic I read because of a song’s name. This sort of thing happens all the time, but usually not with over-a-decade-old memories.
I just described that moment as being “strange and beautiful” above. This reminded me of an album’s name: Yoav’s Charmed & Strange. That album name makes me think of quarks, because there are six types of quarks: up, down, top, bottom, charm, and strange. I don’t see how quarks are relevant to the album itself, though. This point brings me to another idea: if you asked me right now to think of music I know that have to do with physics, I probably wouldn’t consider Yoav’s album, because I’m not consciously linking it to physics, even though I know it is. My brain has this weird way of categorizing and connecting things. This is what a brain does when it learns something new, which brings me to a different point: there’s no clean way to take proper notes on paper. When you learn something in class, you learn a broad concept (e.g. a definition), and then you move through it step by step to explore its dynamics. On paper, we write in a linear fashion (which is why we have lined paper), but what happens after the lecture is over is that the smaller points connect to bigger points and the bigger points connect to each other in weird ways, and what you need now is a mind map and not lines, because it all seems so fragmented in your notebook.
Speaking of subconsciously and consciously registering things, I want to know if this happens to you too: does it sometimes happen that when you’re listening to something (someone talking, or a song, or anything without visuals) that you can sort of see a vague visual image in the eye of your mind of what they are talking about? This happens to me sometimes, usually when I daydream while listening. Some classes at uni are very helpful with that sort of thing… boring, boring, boring, daydream, see in my mind, class ends. I think that’s what hypnosis would feel like.
The key to good writing is honesty. When I say honesty, I mean honesty with oneself. In other words, write about what and who you are, and not about what you think people want to read about. Give way to your own voice, and let it grow, and then grow with it. If you really want to write, you will write about what you care about and the things you think about, no matter how insignificant they seem. I’m thinking of stand-up comedians right now… my favorite ones are the ones who can share their thoughts with the audience and make them laugh, no matter what their thoughts contain (from silly situations to vile imagined ones). The best way that I know of to create a genuine reaction from people is to be honest… to stand naked in front of the world, showing them that this is who you are. (I speak of very big ideas here, but we all know nobody likes to stand naked in front of the world. I, especially, get cold easily, so no. Relevant lyrics: “Don’t get any big ideas, they’re not gonna happen.” ~ Radiohead – Nude).
During this past week, I was told that I am too nice for my own good. How does that work? I know I am nice, and I know when people think I’m nice and “innocent,” so to speak. I think lots of people confuse “nice” and “innocent.” Up until adolescence, I was usually too nice and innocent for my own good, I’ll admit that. I’ll also admit that it put me in a lot of uncomfortable situations, to say the least. Through my teenage years I lost my innocence (as we all do), but I didn’t lose my niceness. How does that work? The thing is, I can’t stop it right now. I can’t stop people from seeing me as a nice person, and worse, from automatically seeing me as an innocent person too. Sometimes I think it makes me look weak.
Let’s talk about weak. There are a few things that worry me as a young man. One of those things is manliness. I’m not the manliest guy out there — and I don’t mind that — but I mind being put in a place where I am doubting my manliness. I know I can be soft sometimes (but I’ll get rougher with time; working on it), but I don’t want to be a man like some of the men I know… I don’t want to be a dictator or a non-artist or an overly-practical man, or an asshole, or, or… Media frames men in a certain way, and some of the men I know live up to the stereotypes, and it kills me, because I am as much of a man as they are, but now I have to prove it — just because I’m a little softer than they are — and how can I? I think this will be one of the things that’ll keep me alone for a long time, unless I can get over it. I’ll probably regret writing this when I’m a little older and rougher, but I couldn’t care less right now.
Final thought: we forget names, not ideas. Names of ideas are irrelevant as long as you remember the idea itself.